You Can’t Sit with Us

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by Nontobeko Mdhluli

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05.20.2021

There is a current and common perception, doing the rounds, which implies that, when women attain success, they inadvertently want to block any further access for more or other women. While this article is not about the debunking of that possible myth, however, this situation certainly piqued my curiosity.

As is the case with many gender-related topics, there is no one simple answer that can explain the issue. When it comes to this question, there are several reasons why women may not support other women. First, there’s an invisible natural law in the female “culture” that helps to shape how women interact with other women at work and in their personal lives. Dr Shawn Andrews, submits an interesting take on this in his research book, The Power of Perception, showing that women at higher leadership levels tend to display more male-specific EQ competencies, such as assertiveness and confidence, and leverage less female-specific EQ competencies, such as interpersonal relationships and empathy. So, if a female leader puts less of a premium on the value of relationships, she may not spend the time necessary to cultivate relationships with junior women. This is also called the Queen Bee Syndrome, when women behave in ways more typical of men to display toughness and fit in. For women at the very top, part of their success is convincing men that they aren’t like other women.

Do we really need to convince men, that we are not like other women? What does it look like, to be an assertive, self-actualised alpha-female, who is excited by the prospect of grooming a prodigy?

What do you think? Are you a female excited to be alone and surrounded by men, at the boardroom table or have you begun the work of mentoring your successor?

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